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I have had a long time to reflect on the things that happened, and have come to one conclusion.

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I have had a long time to reflect on the things that happened, and have come to one conclusion. I messed up big time, in so many ways. From letting you walk out that door the last time, I never should have let you.

I had laid my heart out on the table, and your rejections I took to mean wonen just didnt want me, so I let you leave. Had I known there was even the smallest part of you that still wanted me, I believe I would have stopped you, it would have been enough for me.

But then again I don't believe I deserved to have you back then. You were the best thing in my otherwise dark life, you had been the only one to ever stand beside me and try to make me a better person.

I look back now and can see that clearly, but I was so blinded by my own demons and rage. Yet there you were through it all, you were with me through the bad times, more then anyone else ever has even through my good times. I should have listened to my heart that iloinois in the park, when you asked me what I wanted.

My heart wanted to tell you so badly, but the rest of me just stood there like an idiot. I should have appreciated you, and the way you tried to get me away from those things southsrn were pulling me back. I regret that my downfall dragged you into it, the one thing I can be proud of is up and protecting you from despite what it meant for myself.

Hearing you scream at me still haunts me to this day, and has haunted me my entire life. See it was that, that made it so easy for me to believe you were done with me for good. I couldnt even begin to fathom that you still Hornj any feelings for me.

I know now that is because you oHrny in us what I only suspected. My life has proven to me that what we had WAS special and always will be. Still to this day, "I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am" It haunts me more then I like to admit.

I tried moving on, and believed I had, but it has been shown to me, you were still there in my heart, always and forever. No matter how Hlrny I may try, nothing else ever fit the way you did.

I don't know where you are in life, though I hope you found the happiness I failed to give you. There is a great deal that I need to apologize for and to say to you.

I can only hope that I will be given the chance to tell you in person some day. But no matter what, I want you to know that someone did care about you, even if he was to much of a Horjy to show it to you or to deserve to have you.

And I still do, and I always will