By Teresa Newsome May 10, Low self-esteem affects relationships in so many ways that it's almost mind blowing. There are almost too many negative side effects to list. Relationship behaviors that might mean you have low self-esteem are, coincidentally, common fight starters, and even breakup fuel. And because you've probably been battling low self-esteem most of your life, and through all your relationships, you probably don't even notice you're doing these things — or you think they're normal relationship behaviors.
They're not. When I worked with couples as both a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator and in my work with homeless teensthere was probably no bigger issue that impacted relationships than low self-esteem.
Our own sense of self worth shapes not only how we let others treat us, but how we treat others. It impacts what we think we deserve, what we will accept, estem we'll settle, and if we ever even talk to our dream partner in the first place. I'm always talking about how relationships are a ton of work, but a big part of that work has nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with becoming your best self and dealing with your own issues.
27 relationship behaviors that might mean you have low self-esteem
If you zelf you do a lot of these behaviors, it might be time to check in with yourself esreem your therapist to see if your self-esteem could use a boost. Apologizing For Existing You're supposed to apologize when you hurt someone. You don't have to apologize every time you make Sweet lady want sex Kihei noise, bump into something, say something that isn't full of glitter, or for no reason at all.
If you apologize, pretty much after every time you do things, and even apologize for apologizing when people tell you to stop apologizingit could be a reflection of your sense of self-worth. Being Needy Or Clingy People with dsteem insecurities and low self-esteem feel unworthy of love, and scared that they'll lose it at any moment.
What dating is like when you have low self-esteem
This can lead to clingy behavior, as you try too hard to hold on to something you're afraid to lose. It can also mean you're letting your relationship take up your identity, so you don't know what to do with yourself when you're alone. Being A People Pleaser People pleasers typically have low self-esteem.
They overdo it on kindness and helpfulness because they feel a need to prove their worth. They're uncomfortable with conflict or negative emotions, so they work hard to always keep their partners happy, with no concern for Dating a woman with low self esteem own feelings. This behavior kills relationships because it sets up unrealistic expectations and le to resentments.
It's also kind of a form of dishonesty. Asking For Permission There's a big difference between discussing something with your partner and asking permission. Even if the conversation starts like "Is it OK if I But when you ask permission for everything, always, like permission to pause the TV, visit your mom, or get something to eat, then you're either in a controlling relationship, or you're constantly seeking approval and validation because of low self-esteem.
Living your life shouldn't be such an inconvenience to your partner that you feel the need to ask permission to live it. Enabling When people have low self-esteem it can cause them to do unhealthy things in order to keep or please their partners. Like enabling behaviors. Enabling can include letting your partner make bad choices that involve you, giving them money for their addictions, supporting them while they don't work on their goals, or not making them solve their own problems.
It can also mean doing everything for them so they never learn how to Fucking mexican girls in houston texas things for themselves. Co-dependence Co-dependence often happens when both partners have low self-esteem. It's when you depend on each other too much. It can look like never going anywhere without each other, feeling unable to live without each other, or setting up your lives so they don't work unless you're together.
People with healthy self-esteem maintain their individual identities and must of their independence. Cockiness Did you ever know someone who acted like God's gift to the world, to a sickening degree? Cockiness is often more about what a person thinks they lack than what they think they have. It can be a mask for low self-esteem, an act, a mask the keeps people from getting too close or meeting the real person inside.
Distance Are you distant?
Is your partner distant? This could stem from trust issues, but it could also mean low self-esteem. Remaining distant keeps you Dafing getting hurt by not letting people in. When you don't let people in, they can't see the real you, and reject you for it. People with healthy self-esteem aren't afraid to let others get close to them. Cheating Cheating happens for a lot of reasons, but it's tied to low self-esteem when it happens as a means of self-sabotage.
People who feel loww or unloveable can find lots of ways to destroy potentially serious relationships, including Daitng. Cheating can also be a way of making someone with low self-esteem feel better by padding their ego with successful pursuits. Lying When you don't like yourself, it's not too much of Phelps Kentucky sex teen stretch to think you'd lie to make yourself more like the person you want to be, or you think your partner wants you to be.
Constant lying can mean your or your partner is desperate for your approval, and willing to manufacture stories to please you. It could also be a way of protecting others from the bad person you perceive yourself to be by creating a new version of yourself. Overspending Dating can get expensive. If you overspend on dates and gifts, to the point of near-financial ruin or being late on your rent it could be coming from a place of low self-esteem.
You might think the person you're dating might not be happy enough with some more low-key dates, or might not like you unless you keep buying them gifts. This is an easy trap to fall into and a hard trap to escape.
10 reasons to be careful when dating someone with low self-esteem
Just know someone who loves spending time with you would love spending time with you anywhere. Being Oversensitive If you're the type who cries at the drop of the hat, you should come to my house and cry with me and be my bestie. But if you cry all the time, always, every time your partner says something to you that's serious, it may be low self-esteem. When you have low self-esteem, small comments like "did you cook this or order it?
Not Making Decisions Decisions are stupid and I hate making them. But I'm not afraid to make them. That's the difference.
Your opinions are just as important as your partner's. Not Setting Boundaries Ah, boundaries.
How to talk to a partner with low self-esteem
They're the rules in the playbook of your love life. If you don't set boundaries, it means you're not telling, nor demanding, your partner treat you the way you want to be treated. If you have low self-esteem, you might be too scared of losing your partner to discuss when they treat you in a way that you don't like. You'll basically accept all kinds of behavior that aren't ideal.
Not Arguing The same goes for not arguing. When you don't argue and you're not in an abusive or controlling relationshipit could be because you're afraid of the consequences, or you just think you're probably always wrong anyway.
Arguing can be a healthy way to resolve issues in a relationship, it isn't a punishment for something you must have done wrong. You don't have to hide when things bother you, either. Losing Your Interests When you have healthy self-esteemyou let a relationship enhance your life, not define it. When you have low self-esteem, you let your partner or your relationship define you. The first thing that tends to go are your own interests. If you stopped doing the things you used to love once you got into a relationship, you should take the time to examine if you just didn't have enough self-esteem to put effort into things that wifh to just you and not also your partner.
You do all the work of making sure your partner is happy, while they don't do that much work to fight for your happiness.
Dating for low self-esteem women: consequences & fixes
You may do more housework, show more affection, or just cater to your partner's every need because you feel like just you alone isn't enough to keep them happy. Second Guessing Yourself Pay attention to how you speak. Do you always say things like "We should have pizza for dinner, unless you don't want to. Having to please and gain approval of friends and family, too, can be too much.
It might also be that they don't feel worthy of sharing in your loving family or your close friendships. They may see them often, but they probably won't be super close. Putting Everything Into Your Partner's Goals I'm not talking about decisions like, "we can only afford for one person at a time to go back to school" and your partner goes first. I'm talking about,"You go after your dreams and I'll just stay here, support you, and be your cheerleader.
Your dreams matter. Breaking It Off Before It Really Begins If you throw your partner to the wolves as soon as you start to catch some feelings, you might want to ask yourself why, especially if it's a pattern in you life. It might be that you don't feel worthy of loveor that you think your partner won't like or accept you once then get to know the real you. Obsessing About Your Appearance You're gorgeous. Not just in full makeup if that's your thingbut even when you just wake up, even when you've been sick, Women looking for sex in DeSoto Missouri when you've been cleaning the house in sweats all day.
Dating a woman with low self-esteem
If you never let your partner see you unless you're looking like a supermodel, you could have self-esteem issues, and worry that your partner won't accept you unless you're at the peak of your beauty. You're basically saying to yourself and your partner that you only Kenosha girl nude worth and value when you look a certain way.
Never Flying Solo If you're always with your partner, it's a little co-dependent. But it could mean other s of low self-esteem. Maybe you feel the need to show off your partner and prove to the world that you're worthy of not being single by always having your partner on your arm. Maybe you're so insecure that they'll meet someone else and leave you that you always want to be together.
Never being without your partner isn't healthy. Starting Too Many Fights If you have a lot of issues in your own life that you're not willing or able to deal with, it's common that you'll distract yourself from your own problems by focusing on your relationship problems.
How to talk to a partner with low self-esteem
If you have low self-esteem, you might start unnecessary fights, find problems where there are no problems, and project your issues onto your partner. Looking For Attention Some people with low self-esteem need constant love and attention. It's like there's a black hole inside and they can never get enough. If this is you, you'll constantly text your womna, even when you know they're busy.